The Test

Tested by the Fiery Furnaces of my heart

Exposed to Coldness that rips relations apart

I built these walls, those that would hold

Against all intruders, the mighty and the bold

I had wanted to test those-far and near

For those whom my soul would hold dear

Wanted to see who among all that I knew

Cared enough to try and come charging through

Short was my patience,but the wait was shorter

For within minutes I heard that unmistakable patter

Of nails and chisels chipping rythmically away

As I waited to see whose form emerged this way

The first signs of a tiny opening were forming

And a voice came through them sweet and pleading

It said, "I may not make it there to be with you

But while I try let my words comfort you"

And these walls I had built to withstand all

Crumpled all around me-a befitting fall

Somebody Else

What do you do when all you want to be

is somebody else, somebody you cant be

When all you can do is just watch in silence

as life passes you by in ritualistic eloquence

If neither running to - nor running away seem right

And existence as oneself resembles a losing fight

A fight to separate the present and past tenses

while wishing these issues were somebody else's

The battle has been lost but the war might yet be won

Such is the optimism I feel with each setting sun

Knowing tommorrow when it rises, will be a new day

hopefully a better one -in my heart of hearts I pray

But when everything's said and has been attempted

fighting, praying and positivity tried and resented

Just what do you do when all you want to be

is somebody else, specially somebody else you cant be

The Man On the Horizon

There it is I see on the horizon
Bleak and wretched a wind worn shape
Harassed yet hardened by events untold
Gritting himself for those that would unfold

Incomplete -his knowledge, confused -his mind
As to why he was chosen to be thus punished
As to why those that he loved and cherished
Were never too far and yet never close enough

There he stands on the horizon, a stronger man
Wishfully thinking if ever he cud ever go back
To the point where the seeds to his destiny he had sown
If he cud ever get back to the life he had known


From where I stand it looks like sweet release
Something to put the restless mind at ease
For I know, standing there at his worlds end
Is my future self, the one that fate did send

The Unsaid

Voices lost in whispers..Whispers lost in thought

In-vain the deepest of expressions and loveliest of words

In-vain the efforts that went in to the making

In the shadow of the unsaid - defeated they stand

Wish it could be simple, wish it could be easy

That a Simple "Good bye and I am gonna miss you"

could do- for what I wanted to say or do

Wish there was a something that would say it all

Something that could say all that I now withheld

Something that could convey these feelings

In their entirity- untarnished, unadultered

And make them survive the ravages of time

So that when the time comes to bid adieu

And I can no longer live like it wont

When farewells have to be said in words

I will not have to regret all that has been left- unsaid

Take them Away

These thoughts that keep me awake at night
These people so loving yet just on the outside
The stifling memories, that invade my mind
Wish there was someone to take them away

The errors of paths chosen and woven
The repercussions of misdeeds done
And the circumstances that lead to them
Wish there was someone to take them away

The vicious cycle of expectations
The cold voice of the guilty conscience
And the constant reminders of what isnt..
Wish there was someone to take them away

Its not the lack of strength to face them
Neither an attempt for an easy way out
Its just fear, fear of the inevitable
Fear of losing the innocence of the heart

Dark Side of the Moon

Life goes on in vicious cycles
at each completion an enveloping darkness
the fight to love, the fight to live
this never ending pursuit of happiness

As one door closes; certainly opens another
The renewal of hope, a restoration of faith
The inviting light at the end of the tunnel
just to lure me to that waiting wraith

Eventualities will eventually come to pass
As realisations burden my beating heart
As living in denial becomes life itself
And the ability to survive a coveted art

I wanna stand and scream "I Quit"
And yet I run this rat race bit-by-bit

Merit My Foot

Congratulations, a well deserved victory for women all around the country. After all its like u've been fighting for this for ages. That dalit mahila whos been stuck in her house for ages is goin to finally come out get a fresh lease on life. That opressed daughter who was soooooo interested in politics and state policy is finally goin to get a chance, the upliftment of women in general is around the corner... More of them in the assemblies is going to work wonders... They are gonna come up with and sucessfully implement policies that apparently never crossed the minds of their male counterparts. The likes of Jayalalitha and Mayawati shall lead by inspiration- with the great job they are doing for women in their respective states. Which begs the question, How many successful women leaders are there because they were supplied reservation?

So women are progessively getting worse? They are slowly losing their qualities of leadership that we are in the need to introduce this bill now? And who said- just who had the brilliant idea that forcing a women candidate upon a constituency just because it fell under reserved category was better than letting the people elect their representative fairly. It seems like an affront to democracy to have such a crude form of reservation. Wake up leaders- BC's.. SC's ST's these are the backward castes... They have women too... U dont need a separate reservation again for women.. Its simply becoming cursed to be born as Male and Forward caste in this nation. Give them seats in educational institutions-given.. give them seats in government offices-given.. hell u gave them seats in city busses and if that waznt enuf u gave them whole buses to ride in... but how is it a brilliant idea to enforce upon the people a leader they do not want...

How is it progress? And y are women around the country applauding it... Dont they have any selfrespect? Cant they win on merit alone? They come up with all sorts of absurd lines abt how women are more sincere, more dedicated, more at ease with power- Well tell that to the people in the next election and win it fair and square; Make an all women party 4 all i care. But i should face the truth- all this ranting isn't gonna change anything... So since i am gonna be ruled by u ppl only 2morrow... 4 all the women who are reading this... I salute U.. Wish i waz born of ur feather... _/\_.. 4 all the guys... its not like i wish to suck up to them bro.. but apparently, now i got to.....

First's.........

Everything has to have its first time. I mean all of us have certain memorable and regrettable first times. The first friend you ever made, your first crush, the first time u topped a class, the first time you let your loved ones down, the first time you had your heart broken and thought it would never heal. It can’t be helped, we aren’t perfect and hence life dictates that we have to go through these phases. But what is the special endearing thing about first times? Other than the obvious fact that they are the first, what makes them so different? So cherished whether the issue is currently pertinent or not.
We make several friends after the first, some probably even closer, but we will always remember and treasure those times with the first, whether the person is still in our life or not, the memories warm our hearts. I remember my first friend was Siva, best friends till 10th and I still do my best to keep in touch although our entirely separate current lives make it hard on either of us. Its more than just the person, it’s the prized feeling of such memories that u cannot let go. So much so that sometimes you hang on to something just to keep the past as picture perfect as it was. It’s a fast world today, everywhere you go the heated debates about falling family values and the rising modernization of the youthful minds are on. How is this pertinent to first times is a valid question at this point. It is because what the debaters’ find as a lack of respect towards our culture is a norm for the youth and a first time for them. I make this point because we hardly understand an elderly point of view; mostly it is mild suppression, high respect or just plain admiration that makes us follow their lead.

There is much knowledge to be gained from our priority of our first times, what is more important to us “The first juice we ever drank or the first juice we ever spilled?” speaks volumes about us. Similarly pleasant first times don’t leave much to be desired in our treatment of them, I am sure everybody has the ability to enjoy the pleasurable moments to the maximum. But what of the unpleasant ones, memories that will haunt us, of things that have been and will be. Of all the people that came and went, of the lies we said, that very first time we failed at something. There have been so many first times in the recent past that weigh down on me, just as many as they have been that uplift my spirits, only trouble is the good ones keep me company when in company and the sad ones are silent companions of my solitude.
It’s not so hard to grow a cold heart and be oblivious to the misfortunes of your past and their consequences for yourself and for others, but it is hard to preserve your own sensitivity and endure it knowing full well that the punishment is most probably disproportionate to the crime and is most definitely self inflicted. Other memories don’t keep me so occupied, they just come and go as flashes related to my firsts, or in passing in conversations. There is also another strangeness to these ‘stronger’ memories, they can make you laugh when you’d rather cry and flood your eyes with tears when all you want is to laugh. If you have ever met that long lost friend and all u felt was happiness and yet…….. or passed a once close friend in the corridor and left him with nothing but a passing ‘hi’ you will know what I have been trying to say :) .

Y do We care

Bunch of fools blabber on and on,
of things to come and things long gone.
Things that they can hardly comprehend,
things they ruin but cannot mend.

Perhaps it is the way of the world,
To comment upon those young or old.
To look into the lives of the innocent few
and twist them around;call it a point of view.

All of this perfectly understandable,
perhaps to the experienced even predictable.
Yet all the consequences some people do bear
instead of asking "Just why do we care?"

Care for the words of those who dont matter
Care for the worlds idle chitter-chatter
Care for things assumed and interpreted
Care for thoughts wrought and corrupted

Why lose sight of what's important?
Over something so gullible and rampant
Why inspite of so much evidence we find
We let our heart be overruled by our mind